A feather Christmas Special
by Awatere11
Summary: The Sainty Claws monster is obviously a shapeshifter that will break into their house to eat the bickies and drink their milks before taking the pressies the Mouse called Chrissy brought them. If it kills the wee Mouse what of Katylyn? She's so small ya know. They must save the Mouse called Chrissy ...they are Harkness-Jones' ya know! A 3 chap treat for my Meretrixivilix XX
1. Chapter 1

1

Feather was watching as Pop-pop pulled out some boxes and started to tip things out, his breath catching in his throat as all the pretty shinnies started tumbling out.

 _What was this?_

Rem heard his brother's confusion and wandered over, yawning and giving a huge stretch like he really didn't care but Feather's glee was shaking the bond like a tightrope.

The two boys watched with interest until Ianto noticed them watching.

"You need to sit on the bottom step of the stairs darlings" Ianto suggested, "Grampy and Uncle Owie are coming in with the tree. Your Taddy is already clearing the corner."

Two heads swivelled to see their Taddy was indeed pulling things out of the corner of the room like something new was going there.

"Tadda?"

"Busy darling" Valentine panted, "Christmas is coming, we are getting ready for the presents and stuff."

They frowned as they watched and Autumn flopped down the stairs, one at a time with her head hitting first, followed by the rest of her and she looked like an orange jelly fish slithering towards them.

"Wot U Doin?"

They pointed and she frowned, canting her head as the front door opened and then Owen and Jack struggled into the main room with a huge tree all trussed up with netting stuff.

"Shit, that one?" Jack whined, "It's so far."

"Suck it up old man" Valentine snorted as he positioned the bucket and motioned for them to put the tree in. Soon the tree was seated and rocks were holding it securely in place as Ianto poured lemonade into the bucket with a soft hum.

The kats looked around and Rem approached the most likely grown-up to explain.

"Uncle Owie? What's the tree for?"

"Santa Claus" Owen grinned, "It's Christmas time, when Santa Claus comes down the chimney and eats the biscuits, drinks the milk or beer and then sees to the gifts under the tree before disappearing again."

"Sainty Claws?" Rem said with a frown.

"Big, red jacket with white gloves, fat and jolly because he eats and drinks all the goodies" Owen said with his hands rubbing together.

Rem went back to the others and related the conversation as Bandit gasped with fear.

Claws?

"That's what he said. A Sainty Claws. Must be pretty big claws if it's part if it's name" Rem nodded.

"Maybe that's what the tree is for!" Autumn pointed out, "It's his scratching post?"

"Ooooooo!" Feather's eyes blew out as he stared at the tree and tried to imagine how big he must be.

"Uncle?" Feather called over to Owen, "If he's big how does he get in the wee chimney?"

"He sort of …." Owen made his hands narrow and made a shlopping noise.

"A shape shifter" Rem said with a sniff of authority.

"That's not good!" Feather whispered, "They are bad. We need to check with Mainframe."

They all headed to the den where Minnie was playing in the sun patch and they all sat around the computer as Feather carefully typed in their request.

Nostrovites filled the screen and their little eyes popped as they read the danger they were in.

"But I don't understand" Autumn frowned, "If they are dangerous why are we letting one in?"

"Maybe it's a trap" Rem offered, "Grampy and Taddy are luring it in to kill it!"

"Don't be silly" Feather sighed, "Pop-pop would never let them do it here with Mama and the wee one."

"True" Rem's eyes narrowed as he considered another point.

"What if it is threatening to eat us and they have to let it in?" he asked, "What if they feed it the bickies and milk so it doesn't eat us instead."

"But …it's our bickies and milk" Feather spluttered with rare anger, "We need that stuff!"

"What can we do?" Autumn asked as she watched around the doorframe in time to see Pop-pop lift something ….GASP

Autumn took off, leaving the boys staring at the screen as Minnie squeaked and ran after her big sister with little demands for attention. Since Mama had sickly wee Katylyn she was too busy to amuse the kitten and she was clingy.

Rem looked at Feather as Bandit inspected a paw with interest.

"Paws are weird!" he declared.

"Yes! Paws! White ones, red fur and white whiskers too!" Rem was slapping at the keyboard as he put in the information uncle had given him "let's see what the Nostrovites like to look like!"

An image of a red panda filled the screen, little teeth and fox like features.

"But he's called Claws!" Feather frowned, "I can't see them."

"Can't see ours either ya twat!" Rem snorted, "Bet they are bigger than Janet's!"

"Cool" Bandit sighed, "I like claws. Claws are cool."

"Shut up Bandit! This if fucking serious. A killer alien thing is gonna come in here and eat all the bickies and drink all the milks and then do something with our pressies the mouse called Chrissy puts under the tree!" Rem spluttered, "Get your head out of your arse! We have to do something!"

"Yes" Feather sat straight and nodded at his wise brother, "We have to save Chrissy the Mouse who brings the pressies!"


	2. Chapter 2

2

Autumn was in the tree.

Ianto hadn't noticed as he leant down to turn on the lights, wanting to check there wasn't a gap.

As her world exploded in Technicolor the fat cat clung to the limb with amazement.

The lights blinked and the ornaments twinkled at the light bounced off them, calling Autumn closer.

A bauble was so shiny and round, like coloured bubble and she reached out to touch it, watching it drop to the floor was a satisfying crash.

Huh.

She tried another one, this one took two more down with it and the smash was most satisfying.

"Autumn, no!" Valentine gasped, running to pull her from the tree as he looked nervously at the kitchen doorway, "Get out of there before your Pop-pop sees what you did. He will skin you alive for breaking those. They are glass. Sharp!"

He placed her by her brothers who had arrived to watch and Rem turned to Feather and whispered, "Sharp!"

Feather nodded to show he understood and they silently moved off as Valentine knelt sweeping up the broken shards muttering to himself, then he noticed the silence and turned to find the room empty.

Where were they now!

It was Jacks' turn for an interrogation.

"So …Chrissy Mouse brings the presents!" Feather asked for clarification as Jack struggled to hang a sprig of mistletoe so he could catch Ianto later.

"Yeah, Christmas brings pressies. Lots and cool stuff and then a feast!" Jack grunted, "Gods, the food."

His arms flopped to his sides and he slumped against a wall, staring into space with wistful lust, "There is so much food that you can't eat it all. You feel sick but have just a little more anyway. You have to burp and sometimes use the loo as you are so full. Pop-pop makes such a yummy feast! We eat the roast beast!"

Ahhhhhhhh.

They regrouped in the den, leaning in conspiratorially as they hissed to each other.

"They eat it!"

"Makes sense" Rem said with glee, his fangs flashing, "Lure in an evil thingee that wants to kill the wonderful Chrissy Mouse and kill it before it can destroy the mouse. Then we eat it in a huge feast."

"Like in the olden days" Bandit shook with delight, "Eating the heart of the enemy to gain their powers!"

"No more bloody horrors for you!" Rem growled, then threw his head back as he roared with laughter, then sobered again, "Seriously. Ditty might be right. Maybe that's why Grampy and Pop-pop don't get old. They slay the monster and eat it to get the power it used to transform."

"Yeah" Feather leaned back with a look of adoration as his brother's logic made such sense, "Gosh Rem. You need to be a field agent. I bet you would be better than Uncle Andy!"

Rem preened at the rare compliment and he thanked his brother for his kind words, then looked towards the tree.

"So …we know we need to save the Mousie, we know the Clawed Sainty will come to kill it and steal the pressies. We also know the bloody thing will eat all the good food. But if we catch it, if we can kill it and eat its heart then we will save the mousy and the pressies, have a huge num-nums while everyone is proud of us for being grown-ups."

"Wow" Feather huffed, "You make it sound so simple!"

"Look, we have to think of Kaylee!" Rem was suddenly serious, "What if the Claws eats her too? She is so small like a wee mousie, just the thing scaring her could make her wee heart stop or something. You know Mama said she is delicate."

"She is so cute when she holds her bottle" Feather gushed, then looked contrite as his brother glared.

"Get your head in the game, we have to get this right!" Autumn demanded of them, "We have to save the mouse. Remember?"

"Gods, this is all so hard" Bandit sighed, "I don't even have thumbs like you have."

"You don't have to have thumbs to save the world!" Feather informed his little brother, "You have to have heart! When we all eat the Claws heart we will save everyone!"

Bandit considered as Minnie ran past with a piece of tinsel in her mouth, twisting like a ballerina as it fluttered.

"We only have one shot" Rem said after he blinked and regained his ability to speak, the hypnotising glittery stuff now pulled under the table and releasing him from its spell, "He only comes once a year. We have to prepare!"

"Gramps sez that!" Bandit said with interest, "21st Century, when it all changes. Gotta be ready!"

"Exactly!" Rem nodded.

Feather tapped the keyboard to open their folder and they went over the plan again.

The red furred monster wouldn't know what hit it.

They would save the mouse called Chrissy.


	3. Chapter 3

3

It was all done, all they could do was wait…in the tree.

Autumn had to go pee, it was all too much and as she hissed at Minnie to come with her in case she needed back up the little girl was heard by Rem as she stomped past, "Back-up? More likely too fat to lick her own arse!"

It was a good thing the Claws wasn't there yet as he had a hard time controlling the urge to reply to the wee imp.

Then …

He must have dozed off and he glanced over at his brother who was also blinking furiously and he leaned over to push him, "I do NOT believe you fell asleep. Here I am the only one awake!"

Feather blinked and looked around, then frowned as he looked at the baubles in front of the fireplace.

"Really?" Feather asked with the same calm tone that Pop-pop used when being sarcastic, "You were awake? Then …why are they broken?"

"What?" Rem's mouth fell open as they looked at their broken booby-trap and he yowled with anger, waking the others.

"Quick, the bloody thing is here already!"

Autumn ran for the baby, knowing her job was to heave Minnie into the nest with Katylyn and protect them.

Bandit ran for the tinsel, pulling it tightly around the chair leg and tying it off with nervous hiccups.

"Where is he then" Rem muttered, checking covertly for the Claws monster that had already come down the chimney, breaking the baubles underfoot.

THERE

Rem screamed a warrior's cry that sounded more like a strangled …er ….cat and as Jack started to turn with surprise the white killer leapt, hooking into his back and Jack screamed with pain as the needle-like claws dug into his skin.

Ianto at up in the bed and looked up with surprise, "Cariad? Are you wearing the wrong thong again?"

Jack swung to show the Kat on his back and Ianto leapt from the bed, forgetting he was wearing a thong as well, the mistletoe jingling with bells as he tried to get the Kat off.

"Rembrandt, for fucksake! Get off your Grampy! You know the rules, the sign was up that it was our quiet time now why …" Ianto stopped scolding as he watched the Kat's eyes slide down to see the nakedness of his grandparents and the little brain slowly ticked over to realise he had made a tactical error.

"Grampy?" he said through a mouth full of fur, slowly pulling his claws out.

Jack slid out of the Santa jacket and glared at the Kat with open rage, blood trickling down his back not helping the matter.

"What the hell are you doing!" he roared, "I wasn't hurting Pop-pop, we are bloody playing!"

"But ..but …you was the claws!" Rem wailed, "You have the red coat, you was gonna hurt Pop-pop and kill the Mouse called Chrissy!"

"The…mouse?" Jack spluttered.

"Christmas is one word" Ianto sighed, "Not a mouse. Mass. Christmas. Christ as in Jesus Christ the son of god? Mass as in a group? It's The birthday party for Jesus Christ."

"Huh?" Rem blinked as Feather gave a lusty scream and ran in with his eyes shut, paws swinging to save his brother only to be plucked from the floor by his scruff and he opened his eyes to find his Pop-pop was not pleased at all.

"Alright, family meeting!" Ianto roared, then blinked as he looked down. "Right after I get changed."

Soon the family were sitting around the table as it all came out and Jack started to laugh as he saw the funny side, which Ianto did not.

"You really think we would let an evil monster in here to eat its heart?" he said angrily, "Put you in danger? I don't know how to respond, I am so …so …Jesus!"

Ianto rose and walked to the French doors, looking out over the darkened garden.

"But. The Claws?"

"Santa Claus. Chris Crinkle. Father Christmas?" Valentine supplied.

"The mouse's Daddy?"

"Oh for the …." Jack let his head hit the table as Valentine huffed softly with mirth.

"So, Uncle Owie told you that the mouse called Chrissy comes and brings food and the Claws monster will kill the mouse and take all the pressies and food?"

"No."

"Yes"

"Um …yes."

"No"

"Make your minds up." Ianto sighed, "Did he say that or did you think that?"

"Er" Rem sighed and slumped, "sorry Pop-pop."

"Right, we are going to watch the Grinch, followed by the Polar Express and you are going to calm down while Pop-pop starts the food. We will not kill anyone and no one will get killed" Jack said slowly, "Understood?"

"Yes sir" little voices said in unison.

Ianto was in the kitchen before the giggling started and he gripped the edge of the sink as he finally saw the humour in their misguided attempt to kill Jack.

"The Claws that would kill the Mouse called Chrissy." Jack sighed for the doorway, "Can you imagine? These little buggers were so organised too, the baubles as an alarm system."

"Baubles?" Ianto asked with horror, swinging to look at Jack then storming into the other room.

They walked back down and Ianto saw the broken baubles, crying out with horror as he recognised some of his heirloom pieces broken on the floor.

Unfortunately he didn't see the tinsel tripwire and Jack had seconds between seeing Ianto topple and computing the danger. He grabbed Ianto's elbow and yanked him back into his arms, the image of Ianto's face landing in the mess of glass making him grip his little man tightly as he breathed him in.

He had scooped Ianto from the jaws of death as the Kats watched with awe, once again convinced that he was a true hero.

He wasn't even wearing his super hero coat!


End file.
